I am going to bed crying over the fact that I like someone. Crying over the fact that I just realized this tonight. Crying over the fact that I know I won’t be able to act like a normal human being around him anymore, because I am an idiot that doesn’t know how to do that. I just want to cry and scream and swear and cry some more because I really wanted this kid as my friend, and he was my friend, and he is my friend, and I don’t know what now because I ruin every friendship with every person I like. I hate that about myself more than anything else. He is majestic and beautiful and loves me as a person and never judges me and shakes my hand every time he sees me and talks to me and he is just a beautiful soul and I’m crying some more. Insert swears. Insert more tears.

Sometimes
I feel like

The only way
You’re still alive 

Is in my writing

~

I don’t have to see
Your vacant eyes

Revealing

The hurting soul
F’d up mind

Behind

~

Damn the drugs
Damn the alcohol
Damn the pain
Behind it all